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| Photo from Flickr by Shannon Archuleta |
Why do my
best ideas come to me watching football halftime shows? This does, however,
explain my worst wardrobe choices.
Most days I
flounder along. My witty comebacks are things that occur to me sometime later like
when I’m walking out of the room or stuck in traffic on the ride home. I’m a
natural born blurter too – from a long line of blurters. Likely to breed little
blurters of my own when the time comes. A charming trait.
But so
easily fixed. If only I had one more moment to consider what I was doing or
saying. Life is relentless, you know. It is lived in real time. How irreparably
awkward of it all. If only you could take back that comment, that glance, that
clumsiness. Wouldn’t it be the best thing ever? No more skirt stuck in the
panty hose. No more stepping in the dog poop. No more YES that should have been
NO.
I propose
a radical new solution. I want to live my life on a tape delay.
No more
silly oversharing. No more wardrobe malfunctions. No more missteps. How lucky
can you get? I’m not even suggesting that I would use my power for evil,
winning the lottery or thwarting my romantic rivals.
Life could
be so sweet.
I’d just
like to get through the day saying all the stuff I’m supposed to say – and
keeping my mouth zipped tightly shut the rest of the time. Bliss.
