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| Photo by donenespez from Flickr |
Uhh, nope. I built a man-cave
in my bedroom.
Sure. To look
at me, you might wonder why guys are attracted. It’s not rocket science. Yes. I
have the officially desirable waist-to-hip ratio. (It’s approximately 0.7 if
you’re an Indo-European male, in case you’re interested. Not my ratio. The OFFICIAL
ratio. Determined by years of analysis of Playboy centerfolds and Miss
Americas. I drift a bit south of this measurement, which puts me more into
Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren territory.)
Now what’s
above and below that ratio, well … Let’s not go there. What’s above and below
is definitely not Marilyn Monroe. Sigh.
Yet I have
climbed the dating mountain and planted my flag. Other women have bodacious
tatas and curvaceous bums and fabulous hair. They can even walk in those
gravity-defying latex boots that have no heels at all and make you look like a kinky
ballerina. Women like that have boudoir pics on their phones of impressively
deep cleavage and naughty bits partially covered by lace and hands with long
fluorescent acrylic nails.
Well, I have
pics on my phone too. Pics you could show to a kindergartner. But they make men
drool. They’re pics of my – wait for it
– entertainment center. Yup. I’ve got a Man TV. The kind that gives guys that
bunny-in-the-headlights look. I’ve got it in my bedroom ‘cause I’m crafty that
way. A man plunks down on the bed, stares at the mondo screen with its awesomely
crisp picture and he is trapped in my web.
Make a man
grateful by providing surround-sound and an ample supply of action DVDs and he’ll do
anything for you. Problem solved. (Did I mention the bedside table is a chic mini-fridge?)
