|Photo by donenespez from Flickr|
Uhh, nope. I built a man-cave in my bedroom.
Sure. To look at me, you might wonder why guys are attracted. It’s not rocket science. Yes. I have the officially desirable waist-to-hip ratio. (It’s approximately 0.7 if you’re an Indo-European male, in case you’re interested. Not my ratio. The OFFICIAL ratio. Determined by years of analysis of Playboy centerfolds and Miss Americas. I drift a bit south of this measurement, which puts me more into Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren territory.)
Now what’s above and below that ratio, well … Let’s not go there. What’s above and below is definitely not Marilyn Monroe. Sigh.
Yet I have climbed the dating mountain and planted my flag. Other women have bodacious tatas and curvaceous bums and fabulous hair. They can even walk in those gravity-defying latex boots that have no heels at all and make you look like a kinky ballerina. Women like that have boudoir pics on their phones of impressively deep cleavage and naughty bits partially covered by lace and hands with long fluorescent acrylic nails.
Well, I have pics on my phone too. Pics you could show to a kindergartner. But they make men drool. They’re pics of my – wait for it – entertainment center. Yup. I’ve got a Man TV. The kind that gives guys that bunny-in-the-headlights look. I’ve got it in my bedroom ‘cause I’m crafty that way. A man plunks down on the bed, stares at the mondo screen with its awesomely crisp picture and he is trapped in my web.
Make a man grateful by providing surround-sound and an ample supply of action DVDs and he’ll do anything for you. Problem solved. (Did I mention the bedside table is a chic mini-fridge?)