Then she is Miss Pornbot.
A vertical flesh buffet consisting of Barbie hair, cleavage, bare muffin-top or midriff, rotisserie tan and FM heels. Species typically exhibits overbleached and/or chunk-highlighted hair, acrylic nails and jewelry that can double as a trout-lure during a survival emergency. Additional features include tramp-stamps and a professional waxer on retainer who leaves nothing below the eyebrows but an exclamation point.
Pornbots excel at giggling and hair-tossing while they have difficulty with specialized tasks such as paying for drinks. They often claim to be bisexual as they have discovered that publicly making out with other pornbots is an aid to attracting mates. They present an aura of helplessness when standing next to vehicles, cash registers or barstools, despite the fact that no assistance is actually required.
Pornbots are unique in that they are the only female of any species which is incapable of fight, flight or camouflage. Their sole defense mechanism is their incredibly high maintenance cost, which rapidly weeds out unworthy suitors and ensures their survival. In cases of dire emergency, a pornbot will fall onto its back with its hind legs spread, assuming a submissive posture that captivates and eventually subdues its opponent.
It's Barbie all the way, baby. Remember:
Nobody ever designed Ken's Dream House.
Think Pink. (Just don't think about what that means in the porn industry.)
(I took that picture. I'm sooooo talented.)
1 comment:
I warned The McKooze about these chicks.
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