|Photo from Flickr by Shannon Archuleta|
Why do my best ideas come to me watching football halftime shows? This does, however, explain my worst wardrobe choices.
Most days I flounder along. My witty comebacks are things that occur to me sometime later like when I’m walking out of the room or stuck in traffic on the ride home. I’m a natural born blurter too – from a long line of blurters. Likely to breed little blurters of my own when the time comes. A charming trait.
But so easily fixed. If only I had one more moment to consider what I was doing or saying. Life is relentless, you know. It is lived in real time. How irreparably awkward of it all. If only you could take back that comment, that glance, that clumsiness. Wouldn’t it be the best thing ever? No more skirt stuck in the panty hose. No more stepping in the dog poop. No more YES that should have been NO.
I propose a radical new solution. I want to live my life on a tape delay.
No more silly oversharing. No more wardrobe malfunctions. No more missteps. How lucky can you get? I’m not even suggesting that I would use my power for evil, winning the lottery or thwarting my romantic rivals.
Life could be so sweet.
I’d just like to get through the day saying all the stuff I’m supposed to say – and keeping my mouth zipped tightly shut the rest of the time. Bliss.